After all the preliminary planning had been completed, people made their reservations at Sally Mountain Cabins and as the time grew near to return to Jackman after so many years, I became filled with myriad emotions. Reality hit! I was finally going to see people I knew long ago from a time in my life that now felt like another lifetime another world another dimension to me. So many things raced through my head about the reunion. At times it boggled my brain. Then came the day of reckoning! I drove to Portland to pick up Bruce from the airport. He flew in from Illinois where he and his family had made their home. I was in Maine visiting my family and friends so I volunteered to drive from Bangor to Portland to pick him up. For me it somehow seemed fitting that Bruce and I return to Jackman together. I wondered if the thought had crossed his mind as well. I was looking forward to seeing how much not only he had changed, but how much everyone had changed in the almost 35 years since we all had resided under one roof together.
I think both Bruce and I felt a little uncomfortable meeting again, but we maneuvered through our first encounter at the airport with dignity and grace. After picking him up at the airport in Portland, we headed towards Jackman in the tiny Ford Fiesta that my brother had loaned me while I was visiting him. Getting used to a stick shift again after several years was a little jerky at first, but after the first few minutes it was like riding a bicycle. It's something you never forget how to do! Highway 201's gradual ascent was punctuated by curves on one side and the Kennebec River on the other side. Dennis Kelly had warned everyone to watch out for moose if anyone planned to arrive at dusk. I told Bruce he was the navigator and also was to be on moose alert once we turned onto 201 from the interstate. Neither one of us thought we’d actually see a moose and was flabbergasted when one came so close to the car that if it had even stepped a half inch closer a collision would have occurred. I was going about 70 mph, yet the enormous face of the moose staring into the passenger’s side window was larger than life for just a split second as I zoomed by. It had come out of nowhere. Neither Bruce or I had seen it! Who would have believed that Bruce and Karen were killed by a moose? After the danger had passed, we laughed and I slapped Bruce on the arm. I couldn't believe I had moose slobber all over the passenger window.
My mind screamed, "Be gone Bullwinkle! Stop trying to give me a heart attack!" Then my focus turned once again to Bruce.
“You were supposed to be watching out for those menacing creatures!”
“Oh my God, I can’t believe that just happened! He appeared out of thin air!”
“I can't believe it either, but I think we need to keep a closer watch out for moose and I had better slow down a bit. It shouldn’t take that much longer to reach Jackman.”
Startled by what had just occurred, I immediately slowed down. I'd much rather hit a moose going 35mph than going 70mph. Actually, I'd much rather not hit a moose at all. The car I was driving was what I called a small “wind-up” car, but hitting a moose in any size car would have totaled the car and the reality was that we wouldn’t have survived if I had hit that moose or any moose. We saw one of his cousins before reaching town, but that one was from a safe distance and not close enough to leave moose drool across the window like the previous one had rudely done.
After the fact, the incident seemed quite funny, but it also made me very aware of the real dangers that come with living in rural locations. The next day, I bought a small stuffed moose to commemorate the reunion and our almost mishap from the Jackman Trading Post just on the outskirts of Jackman. Dennis was kind enough to take those who wanted to "find a moose" traipsing through the woods so they could see a moose up close and personal. I passed on that adventure after almost hitting one.
Years earlier, the only moose I had seen in those parts was from a safe distance while I was standing in the dining room at Kinsman Hall. One day as I was looking out the large plate glass windows facing the back of the property outlined by the river connecting Attean Lake and Big Wood Lake. Sally Mountain stood proudly in the background. There wading lazily in the shallow river was a a lone bull moose. I was mesmerized by his size. He was a large as the horses, Razu and Spike that had lived at Kinsman Hall. It definitely would have been a great Kodak moment, but I don’t think anyone present had a camera to capture the moment or the moose. Like so many moments from those days, now they are viewed as precious, but faded memories.
After dropping Bruce off where he was staying in town at the place he had rented, I checked in at Sally Mountain Cabins and settled in for the night. Early the next day I went exploring. Absolutely nothing looked familiar to me as I drove down Attean Lake Road towards where Kinsman Hall once stood. I came to the location I assumed it had to be and pulled off the road. Yes, this had to be the right spot. I was sure of it. I got out of my car and walked down to the water. I closed my eyes and just soaked in the memories all at once. My knees felt weak for just a moment as time washed over me and I got caught up in a flood of emotions. For just a few moments, I was transported back.
As I stood on the very spot I had stood 34 years earlier, I looked back at where Kinsman Hall once stood. I knew Kinsman Hall had burned down many years earlier, but something in me was not prepared for the nothingness I saw. Where the house once stood, was now replaced with a dense patch of trees. The open field still remains with a well-trodden path through the tall grass to the water’s edge. Wild flowers grow abundantly everywhere. The memories kept washing over me, making me feel glad that I was standing alone. Sadness and happiness filled me at the same time. My tears fell freely as I slowly walked back to my car.
I scanned the open field remembering playing volleyball there long ago and injuring my ankle. I remembered sitting with Bruce down by the water's edge one sunny afternoon much like today when they had given us a much needed break from the Marathon Cabin. Most of all, I remembered the buzz of the small community whose isolated existence was very much alive in my mind at that moment. Those were our voices I heard as I shut my eyes. It was our spirit I felt. Then it happened! The memories became crystal clear. Fear flooded over me and I quickly opened my eyes to realize I still was in 2007 and not 1973. As quickly as the fear had come, it receded upon opening my eyes. And I sighed as I exhaled slowly and deeply. Yes, it really was good old 2007!
As I neared the opening to the clearing where the road was, I heard a vehicle stop. A young male about the age I was when I lived here many years ago approached me. Clearly, he was in a hurry, but to where and why? Why would anyone in Jackman be in a hurry? That thought amused me for a just a moment. I was startled by the young male's presence and instantly felt uncomfortable because I suddenly realized I was out in the middle of nowhere by myself. As we met on the path, we both greeted each other, but as soon as our paths crossed and he passed me on the trail, he stopped walking in the direction of the water. He quickly turned around and started walking right in back of me. Again, I felt uncomfortable, but I forced myself to stop and turn towards him as the thought that I was in Maine and not in some urban slum in the middle of the night finally popped in my head. Didn't the sign upon entering the state of Maine claim, "Welcome to Maine - The Way Life Should Be"? That thought calmed my racing heartbeat and I was able to smile.
“Hi again! Are you from around here?”
“Yes, I live in town.”
“I know you’re too young to remember this, but have you ever heard people in town talk about a hunting lodge that used to be on this spot?” I said as I motioned towards the site on which Kinsman Hall once stood.
“You know, that makes sense!”
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, I walk through these woods a lot and I find stuff all the time.”
“What kind of stuff do you find?”
“Stuff like old dishes and silverware and stuff like that.”
“Would you mind showing me where you have found stuff?”
“No, not at all. Did you live here or something?”
“Yes, a long time ago when I was around your age. A group of us are having a reunion here this weekend and it would be great if I could show them how to get up on the train trestle if they have forgotten how so we can hike up Sally Mountain if anyone wants to and also where to find some old stuff from the place that used to be here. The people at Sally Mountain Cabins said there was a path through here, but I couldn’t find one.”
“Oh, you talked to Corey. Well there’s a path through here, but it’s easier just to go to the gated drive next to here and go to the trestle from there. The people who own it don’t mind. They just have a gate there to keep people from going down there and dumping trash.”
“Hi again! Are you from around here?”
“Yes, I live in town.”
“I know you’re too young to remember this, but have you ever heard people in town talk about a hunting lodge that used to be on this spot?” I said as I motioned towards the site on which Kinsman Hall once stood.
“You know, that makes sense!”
“Why do you say that?”
“Well, I walk through these woods a lot and I find stuff all the time.”
“What kind of stuff do you find?”
“Stuff like old dishes and silverware and stuff like that.”
“Would you mind showing me where you have found stuff?”
“No, not at all. Did you live here or something?”
“Yes, a long time ago when I was around your age. A group of us are having a reunion here this weekend and it would be great if I could show them how to get up on the train trestle if they have forgotten how so we can hike up Sally Mountain if anyone wants to and also where to find some old stuff from the place that used to be here. The people at Sally Mountain Cabins said there was a path through here, but I couldn’t find one.”
“Oh, you talked to Corey. Well there’s a path through here, but it’s easier just to go to the gated drive next to here and go to the trestle from there. The people who own it don’t mind. They just have a gate there to keep people from going down there and dumping trash.”
He showed me where he had found old dishes, silverware and various other things in the area and then left me to go about his business.
“That’s great and thank you for all your help.”
I couldn’t wait for everyone to finish arriving so I could show them the spot and tell them about the young man who had been so helpful. I had forgotten how beautiful the landscape had been and regretted that my time spent in Jackman so long ago didn’t include being able to appreciate the beauty of the countryside. The dense woods and surrounding mountains made the scenery seem like something a person would see on a postcard or calendar. To the west The White Mountains of New Hampshire were visible and beyond that along Route 2 were the Green Mountains of Vermont. That drive was probably one of the most scenic routes a person could take especially during the autumn when the fall foliage was ablaze with color. Now the various shades of greens against the blue sky made Northern Maine as majestic as I had remembered it to be. At night if one is lucky enough they might even get to see the aurora borealis. Before I could even get back in my car and leave, Joe Yacovone and his wife, Alice drove up. I assured them they were in the right spot. Welcome to the Hotel California! You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave... Knowing how I had felt just a few minutes earlier, I thought they might want to explore the area without me present.
Dennis came armed with donuts that next morning wearing a T-shirt boasting he was the world greatest Grandpa and knowing him, that may not have been too far from being the truth. Steve Swift introduced us to his wife, Tina and daughter, Chloe and kept us entertained with his extraordinary memory. Somehow he remembers what brand of cigarette everyone used to smoke and what music they liked best. How's that even possible? It goes way beyond anything I'm even capable of imagining. I think if I had a mind like that I might be able to rule the world! Gail Apple and her husband, Bob also made the trip to Jackman. Others had planned to come, but life always has a way of getting in the way of even the best made plans. And it wasn't until everyone arrived that we discovered Jackman had no cell phone reception. The only place anyone could get a signal was at the Overlook pull-off. While it bothered some, I found it to be oddly nostalgic.
Scott Servisky arrived a little later that day just as we were getting ready to walk into town to grab something to eat. When he approached us, I was the only one who knew who he was. I knew I could have fun with that. Everyone else thought he was with the other people staying at the Sally Mountain Cabins. Scott's long blonde hair blew in the wind as if he was posing for a photo op. When I greeted him by saying, "Good morning, Fabio" everyone looked at me as if I had lost my mind. I slipped my arm around him to give him a hug and told everyone that I had picked this guy up the night before down by the lake after they all had gone to bed. Everyone had a good laugh over that one once they realized who it was.
I finally got the opportunity to meet Ned White and his wife, Barbara. I know everyone thinks I'm responsible for creating the Kinsman Hall website thus being the catalyst for everything else that has happened since, but in my mind, it's Ned who is the true catalyst because without him I don't know if I would have ever built that website. I certainly had been talking myself out of doing it for quite awhile before Ned and I crossed paths. It was Ned who made me believe that people would come to it and people would reconnect if I built it. He inspired me enough to make me set my fears aside long enough to listen to what my heart had been trying to tell me. Ned was right and for that I am eternally grateful.
Not everything that has transpired since its creation has been wonderful and can be considered a positive experience for all. I think for most people connecting with old friends from that time has been a truly heartfelt experience regardless of the final outcome. Unfortunately, in life there's usually some bad and unexpected zingers that come with any good. Since 2002, some people have passed away and for them we grieve. They will remain with us always.
And of course, there's always going to be differences because no two people on this planet are alike. The most any of us can hope for is that we can bridge those differences and remain friends in spite of them. But if we can't remain friends that doesn't diminish the feelings that once lived in all of us. Our time in Jackman was certainly memorable and we left behind a few more memories to add to all the others we left there many years ago. Along with our memories, the engraved stones Jill had given each one of us who attended the reunion will remain in Jackman forever. My rock was engraved with the word "PEACE," but unlike everyone else, I didn't leave my stone behind. I brought my peace home with me because I believe that's where it belongs.