The combination of the two words, "object" and "lesson" makes the meaning of "object lesson" fairly easy to figure out. An object lesson is an object used to teach a person a lesson. But were object lessons effective tools at Kinsman Hall? As with most things at Kinsman Hall, I think most people grew tired of getting in trouble and got to a point of toeing the line just to make it easier for themselves. In many ways the repetitious nature of Kinsman Hall's disciplinary techniques was like being repeatedly exposed to a virus. Eventually that virus spread and mutated into being how most residents lived their days until they finally went home. We all learned how to assimilate and adapt to our environment. Each person did what they had to do to survive. For some that meant playing by the rules and for others it meant taking the path of least resistance. For some, Kinsman Hall was their reality and had become their life.
I’m sure each person who experienced Kinsman Hall had their own way of looking at things and each person’s perspective changed as they advanced through the program. Now, many years later our memories of those days have dulled with age. Some attribute Kinsman Hall as being what saved them and others view it as a curse that has lingered on and touches their lives still to this day. The truth lies with in each of us who resided there.When a person first came downstairs from the dorms in the morning, they would move their peg from (BOYS or GIRLS) DORMS to DINING ROOM. Upon leaving the DINING ROOM and going to work, they would move their peg to the location in which they worked. "Expeditors" whose job it was to do continuous headcounts all day, would mark on their clipboard where the person was located last. A head count took anywhere from 20 to 30 minutes to complete depending on how spread out the entire house was at any given time. During the next head count the expeditor would go back to the last location the person was and if the person was not located in that place, the next step would be to go to the peg board to see where this person's last location was according to the pegboard.
If the person had forgotten to move their peg to their new location, the person would have to wear a peg taped to their forehead for a few days. At times, some people wore numerous pegs. It just depended on how scattered-brained a person was. Other object lessons included costumes to depict the type of persona you displayed to others. For instance, The Atomic Reactor was a person who had problems controlling their temper, Snidely Whiplash, was the bad guy who tries to form negative contracts with others, The Baby wore diapers to show they had “putney” (immature) behavior and needed to grow up and The Clown made a joke of everything. These were just a few of the various costumes people had to wear at times as an object lesson. People who worked in the kitchen could always count on wearing burnt toast in a baggie around their neck or a broken plate for several days as an object lesson.
The most common of all object lessons was a large cardboard sign. Signs were made with some written comment on them indicating what the person had done wrong. For example a sign might have “I think other people's object lessons are funny. Please help me change my bad behavior." A person wearing a sign had to know word for word what their sign said and had to be able to recite it whenever asked what it says. From the example I used, the correct assumption would be that laughing at someone's object lesson or making fun of it in anyway would only get a person in trouble. I have to admit that some object lessons were difficult not to laugh at because they were so ridiculous and many people used their costumes as a way to emphasize their persona. Most people learned the fine art of laughing internally through self-control and sharing that laughter with only a select few. Do I detect a negative contact?
Now, picture this if you can! The Atomic Reactor, Richie comes bouncing gingerly across the stage in the Dining Room...red tights and a cape to match. His skin tight white T-shirt has a picture of a nuclear hazard sign drawn on it. Just as he reaches the edge of the stage, he decides not to use the stairs, but to jump off the stage. His cape flies up behind him and makes it appear just for a second that he is going to fly away. Immediate laughter breaks out and more object lessons soon followed! Self-control in those instances was almost impossible to have, but after awhile the things that seemed horrible or comical at first seemed to dissipate and be replaced with a wholesome complacency about everything. Another memorable object lesson was when Lyn and Kevin G. had to stand outside the Main Area and repeatedly say, "I'm Bonnie!" "I'm Clyde!" but instead of finishing the statement with "and we rob banks" they had to say what they had done. They stood there for hours saying the same thing over and over again.
If I learned nothing else from my days at Kinsman Hall, the lesson that follows me to this day is that nobody lives life in a vacuum. Our actions, however insignificant do affect others. Or as in Kinsman Hall lingo it was described as dropping a pebble in a pond. The ripples from that stone stretch outward to infinity reaching people to whom you have no real connection. A bad mood or a kind deed can either make or break many people's days as the ripples stretch outward. I now, wonder how our laughter, my laughter effected those people who were the recipient of it at those times when silence would have been much more appropriate. My laughter fed their negativity and only encouraged them to act out more. The laughter, if nothing else, was negative attention and when you’ve always been an outcast, any kind of attention is great. Some people will take the spotlight anyway they can get it! And for some, negative attention seemed to be the only way they knew how to get the attention they so desperately needed.
It’s funny how some things stick in a person’s head forever being imprinted on their memory, while other things seem to fade easily into the deep dark recesses of their brain. Even common memories that should be easily shared amongst people are skewed by a person’s perception of what they find horrible, amoral, awesome, comical, heartfelt and brutal. One of the things that come to mind when I think of “brutal” punishments is what happened when the house had corn beef for dinner on St. Patrick’s Day 1973.
I can’t say what actually prompted staff to decide to put John up on the stage so everyone could watch him with his dinner tray piled with so much corn beef to eat that it would make him sick. The whispers that spread quickly throughout the dining room claimed it was due to John’s greedy behavior of always wanting seconds. I suppose the lesson he was supposed to learn was aimed at making him feel satisfied with what he was given in the future. Since I’m not a male, I can’t vouch for their appetite, but I remember growing up and my mother always complaining how much food it took to sate my three older brothers. She claimed they were always hungry especially when they hit their teenage years. I never figured out how making a person vomit would make them less hungry in the long run, but that's exactly what John was supposed to learn. But all it actually did was make John hesitant to ever ask for more food. It was like training Pavlov’s dog in reverse…the sight of food would prompt a nauseous feeling. Actually, it sounds to me like an eating disorder in the making. I often wonder if that incident followed him the rest of his life.
All object lessons were meant to be on the bizarre side because everything was aimed at over exaggerating a person’s bad behavior. After the feeling of looking ridiculous wore off, a person then had time to ponder the reason for any object lesson. Cardboard signs hung around a person’s neck were uncomfortable and difficult to maneuver around so any job was difficult to do especially if you worked in the dishpan. Cardboard and water do not mix well. Stocking caps were hot and looked ugly. Even wearing a colored stocking cap instead of a flesh colored one didn’t help much. What is a woman without her locks? The guys often said they would gladly wear a stocking cap instead of having their head shaved each time they did something wrong. I saw their point, but who would ever be bold enough to suggest male stocking caps to staff? In fact, I can’t picture making any suggestions to staff. The point of the program wasn’t to think for yourself, it was to follow the rules and to do whatever you were told to do like it or not. The Kinsman Hall suggestion box was just another unicorn. It just didn't exist!
Watching the cruel treatment of some people was hard to take, but somehow anyone with compassion learned to suffer in silence with the person. A few people in my peer group were constant objects of harsh and sometimes brutal treatment. Steve had entered the program in a full blown meth psychosis. His behavior often provoked the untrained and unqualified staff members to handle him with physical aggressiveness. Linda, one of the female staff members who had a reputation for being a bit on the bitchy side seemed to delight in tormenting Steve whenever she could. On one occasion, Linda exerted her authority by having a few male staff members hold Steve while she slapped him across the face with enough force to make my face sting. Sure Steve’s behavior was erratic and bizarre, but I never felt threatened by him or in any type of physical danger to be in his presence. What I did learn was to listen to him because in doing so he made sense in whatever he said. His circuitous route to the point he wanted to make might take awhile, but when I stuck with it and listened to his entire rant, he always came back to the beginning and finished up every thought. Much to everyone’s shock, when Steve finally came out of the psychosis in which he was held captive, he was a pleasantly, gentle soul instead of a drugged-crazed wildman.
As I observed Steve from the beginning, I saw only one staff member try to compassionately reach out to Steve. Frank, the leader of our orientation group formed a bond with Steve, but being under Frank’s protection wasn’t enough to protect Steve from the other more aggressive staff members who seemed to get their jollies off by intimidating residents and treating those residents they had deemed as weak or in need of special attention with their own brand discipline. It really was quite sad to watch and made me thankful that I wasn't one of those people requiring their special attention.